The One With the Morning After
Feb. 16th, 2010 04:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pickyourmomentsChandler hopped around the kitchen in his socks and dressing gown, setting the table for breakfast when Joey walked in the apartment. Joey stopped at the threshold, confused by the scene before him.
“What’s with breakfast?” he asked, stealing a piece of bacon from a plate on the counter. “You only have to do this when I bring girls over.”
Chandler shrugged as he handed Joey a plate. “Just felt like making breakfast, is all,” he answered.
Shaking his head, Joey moved to the table. “And what was with the chain yesterday, man?” he asked. “I had to use Monica’s shower and eat dinner over there.”
“Joey, you do that anyway,” Chandler pointed out as he took his seat at the table. “And I had a girl over.”
Joey laughed at him. “Yeah, sure you did.”
“I did!” Chandler insisted. “By the way, I took some of your condoms, since I didn’t have any.”
Joey held up his hands in defeat. “Hey, man,” he said. “If you insist.”
The door opened again, and Phoebe let herself in. “Hey, Joey,” she said, helping herself to some orange juice. “I came by to get my ticket for tonight, since I’ve got work all day.”
“On the fridge,” Joey said, pointing to a stack of tickets secured to the fridge by a large magnet.
Smiling, Phoebe plucked one of them from the stack and turned to face the boys. She stopped suddenly, gasping.
“Oh, my god!” she said loudly. “You had sex!?”
Chandler just grinned up at her and tucked into his eggs. Phoebe gasped again.
“More than once!? Who are you, and what have you done to Chandler?” Phoebe demanded.
It was Joey’s turn to gasp. “I thought you broke up with Janice!” he said.
“It wasn’t Janice,” Phoebe and Chandler said in unison; Phoebe more stunned than anything.
“How the hell do you do that?” Chandler demanded.
“Psychic ability,” Phoebe answered simply. “Anyway, I need to go. I was supposed to be at work five minutes ago. See you tonight!”
The boys watched her go, Joey waiting until the door was shut to start his line of questioning.
“So, who was she?” he asked. “Anyone I know?”
“Nope,” Chandler said simply.
“Well, am I gonna get to meet her?” Joey tried.
“Nope.” Chandler repeated.
“Well, where’d you meet her?” Joey asked, only believing Chandler had anyone in the apartment at all because Phoebe had said so.
Chandler took a moment to figure out that answer. “At a bar,” he said eventually. “We’ve been talking for a few weeks, and since I broke up with Janice, I figured I might as well go for it.”
“Chandler,” Joey said calmly. “I’m your best friend, and I won’t think any less of you. Did you bring a dude home yesterday?”
Normally, Chandler would have been put off and offended by this, but today, it didn’t seem to bother him. “Nope,” he repeated again, still smiling. He finished off his breakfast and put the plate in the sink before making his way to his bedroom. “I have work today, so I’ll see you tonight at the play.”
The play was horrible. It sucked, and Chandler told Joey as much. It was an agreement they’d made, back when Joey first moved in. Chandler would be honest with his opinion of Joey’s plays, and Chandler had to pick up the pieces every time Joey brought home a girl he had no intention of ever seeing again. It was a perpetual motion machine of anger and discomfort, but it worked for them.
But Chandler was glad that he’d gone. It wasn’t even watching Rachel’s horrified reaction to the travesty that was Freud!, fun as that may have been.
It was the one person not part of their group that had stayed for the duration of the show.
“Oh, god. I can’t believe I’m even considering this,” he said, getting up from his seat. “I’m very, very aware of my tongue.”
Ross and Phoebe both offered words of encouragement as he moved across the small theatre toward the woman. As soon as he approached her, he realised he’d had a problem. A very fundamental problem.
He had no idea what to say.
“Yes?” the woman finally asked.
“Hi. Uhm...” Chandler said. He cleared his throat and considered just running right there. “Okay, uhm, next word would be, uh... Chandler. Chandler is my name, and... er... hi.”
Even he was aware at how badly he sucked at this.
“Yes, you said that,” the woman said in an Italian accent – proper Italian, too. Not Joey Italian.
“Yes. Yes, I did,” Chandler agrees. “But what I didn’t say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say, was, uhm, would you like to go out with me sometime, thank you, goodnight.”
Utterly and completely blew it. He knew there was absolutely no way of recovering from that, and turned to quickly walk away.
“Chandler?” she called after him. "That would be nice."
Okay, maybe he’s not as bad at this as he thought.
[ Bits of dialogue taken from Episode 01x06: The One With the Butt ]
“What’s with breakfast?” he asked, stealing a piece of bacon from a plate on the counter. “You only have to do this when I bring girls over.”
Chandler shrugged as he handed Joey a plate. “Just felt like making breakfast, is all,” he answered.
Shaking his head, Joey moved to the table. “And what was with the chain yesterday, man?” he asked. “I had to use Monica’s shower and eat dinner over there.”
“Joey, you do that anyway,” Chandler pointed out as he took his seat at the table. “And I had a girl over.”
Joey laughed at him. “Yeah, sure you did.”
“I did!” Chandler insisted. “By the way, I took some of your condoms, since I didn’t have any.”
Joey held up his hands in defeat. “Hey, man,” he said. “If you insist.”
The door opened again, and Phoebe let herself in. “Hey, Joey,” she said, helping herself to some orange juice. “I came by to get my ticket for tonight, since I’ve got work all day.”
“On the fridge,” Joey said, pointing to a stack of tickets secured to the fridge by a large magnet.
Smiling, Phoebe plucked one of them from the stack and turned to face the boys. She stopped suddenly, gasping.
“Oh, my god!” she said loudly. “You had sex!?”
Chandler just grinned up at her and tucked into his eggs. Phoebe gasped again.
“More than once!? Who are you, and what have you done to Chandler?” Phoebe demanded.
It was Joey’s turn to gasp. “I thought you broke up with Janice!” he said.
“It wasn’t Janice,” Phoebe and Chandler said in unison; Phoebe more stunned than anything.
“How the hell do you do that?” Chandler demanded.
“Psychic ability,” Phoebe answered simply. “Anyway, I need to go. I was supposed to be at work five minutes ago. See you tonight!”
The boys watched her go, Joey waiting until the door was shut to start his line of questioning.
“So, who was she?” he asked. “Anyone I know?”
“Nope,” Chandler said simply.
“Well, am I gonna get to meet her?” Joey tried.
“Nope.” Chandler repeated.
“Well, where’d you meet her?” Joey asked, only believing Chandler had anyone in the apartment at all because Phoebe had said so.
Chandler took a moment to figure out that answer. “At a bar,” he said eventually. “We’ve been talking for a few weeks, and since I broke up with Janice, I figured I might as well go for it.”
“Chandler,” Joey said calmly. “I’m your best friend, and I won’t think any less of you. Did you bring a dude home yesterday?”
Normally, Chandler would have been put off and offended by this, but today, it didn’t seem to bother him. “Nope,” he repeated again, still smiling. He finished off his breakfast and put the plate in the sink before making his way to his bedroom. “I have work today, so I’ll see you tonight at the play.”
The play was horrible. It sucked, and Chandler told Joey as much. It was an agreement they’d made, back when Joey first moved in. Chandler would be honest with his opinion of Joey’s plays, and Chandler had to pick up the pieces every time Joey brought home a girl he had no intention of ever seeing again. It was a perpetual motion machine of anger and discomfort, but it worked for them.
But Chandler was glad that he’d gone. It wasn’t even watching Rachel’s horrified reaction to the travesty that was Freud!, fun as that may have been.
It was the one person not part of their group that had stayed for the duration of the show.
“Oh, god. I can’t believe I’m even considering this,” he said, getting up from his seat. “I’m very, very aware of my tongue.”
Ross and Phoebe both offered words of encouragement as he moved across the small theatre toward the woman. As soon as he approached her, he realised he’d had a problem. A very fundamental problem.
He had no idea what to say.
“Yes?” the woman finally asked.
“Hi. Uhm...” Chandler said. He cleared his throat and considered just running right there. “Okay, uhm, next word would be, uh... Chandler. Chandler is my name, and... er... hi.”
Even he was aware at how badly he sucked at this.
“Yes, you said that,” the woman said in an Italian accent – proper Italian, too. Not Joey Italian.
“Yes. Yes, I did,” Chandler agrees. “But what I didn’t say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say, was, uhm, would you like to go out with me sometime, thank you, goodnight.”
Utterly and completely blew it. He knew there was absolutely no way of recovering from that, and turned to quickly walk away.
“Chandler?” she called after him. "That would be nice."
Okay, maybe he’s not as bad at this as he thought.
[ Bits of dialogue taken from Episode 01x06: The One With the Butt ]
